The missing puzzle piece

It is always like this, and it gets worst and worst...
Each time I return to Portugal, for the first days, I have contradictory feelings. On one hand I feel nothing has really changed, as if I have never left this place. This makes me quite uncomfortable as I'm confronted with my inner changes having absolutely no impact in the World. A bit narcissistic of me, maybe... But on the other hand I have the weirdest feeling that I'm the missing part of this puzzle, or shall I say, the lost puzzle piece... I don’t fit in anymore. Never did, really. But now is even more aggravated than usual. I walk the streets feeling some sort of an alien, not understanding or accepting the pace of the city or the streets… I know sooner or latter this feeling will vanish, but until then I will feel like the undesired guest in this party that is Lisbon.